A poem by Gargrim
*Gargrim clears his throat. Then,
deep, terrifying noises emerge from his mouth. This, for those blessed
enough not to have faced this horror
before, is what Trolls call "singing".*
(If you need some help with Gargrim's
dialect, please consult the Cimmerii's page
describing Trolltok.)
"Me dies in Mobigwatr
Is no time for lafter
Me bashes birdies good
But mobig bird tinks me food
Is hit me bing bang bong
Is sound like a song
Is bash me bif bof baf
Me nahappy but birds laf
So now me stands on rok
Guards of Fripport my way block
Me is hungry n tirsty
N naked for all to see
Me waits for boat, is no comes
Me really hungry but cant find no
buns
Me stands on wet roks
N just scratches my buttocks
Me is tirsty, but water's salty
Me is hungry, but fish are slip'ry
Me is naked, n no one loves me
Me just wants go home with body
Is takes forever for boat to come
Me comes trou tunnel shown by a
bum
As time passes me starts to lose
hope
But can't kill myself cuz aint got
no rope
Finly me hears shout says "boat"
Me turns n sees it on sea it float
Quick like a fish, me swims to da
dock
Climbs on stairs n face guard who
not want to talk
"Die dog!" he tells me
Bing bang bong he punch me
"Me kills you", he says, "n feel
my fury"
Slish slosh slash he slash me
Guard Hirazen, me so much hates you
Me runs up to boat n fades from
your view
Once on boat me turns n spits right
on you
One day me kills you, biliv me it's
true
So me is on boat and is sail to sea
Wind sings in ears n birds fly near
me
At last me gets hope of seeing body
Me is on boat, is nothing stops
me!
But den sumthin happens, is big trajedy
Me appears on da docks, next to
nagud lady
Bif baf bof she sure not likes me
Bing bang bong she bitts krap awtof
me
"Welcome to Fripport", says voice
in my head
Is no doubt 'bout it, me's utterly
dead
Me waits for boat again, is gonna
be long
While me sits on rok might as well
rite a song."
*Gargrim bows before the wildly cheering crowd. Or are they attempting to flee?*